How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Reggie can tackle my bush.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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