She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize