I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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