At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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