nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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