Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
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did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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