hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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