i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize