is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize