Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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