Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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