remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize