Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize