is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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