By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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