I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
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