Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Randomize