youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
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