So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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