I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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