Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
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Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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