And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize