this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
There's even glitter on my cock...
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