I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
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Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
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