So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize