Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize