She is in my trunk
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ππ#pensacolaproblems
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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