we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
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