Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize