Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
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