I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize