remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
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she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I need a beard to bite.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
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