He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize