sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
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She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
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I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
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