this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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