I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize