I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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