I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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