do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
only you would photoshop your dick
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
A+ Viking dick
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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