Michael Bay diarrhea
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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