I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Randomize