My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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