I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize