Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
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