All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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