dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize