Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
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She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
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does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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