i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
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Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
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I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
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