When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
My underwear smells like fireworks.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
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