i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
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she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
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We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize